The Saturday City: Places I Don’t Like

Each Saturday for the last three months, I’ve been highlighting different cities from around the world. Each time, I have nothing but praise for all these places. But I’m constantly asked if I like every place I visit, because it sure seems that way. Well, I don’t.

Generally, I try to find something good about every city, but I have come across some places I just don’t like:

Atlanta

Hotlanta? More like Craplanta! I didn’t enjoy this place one bit, and it might be my least favorite city in the world. It was dirty, grimy, lacked anything really interesting, and had traffic worse than Bangkok because it has no subway system. Why? Because white suburbanites are too afraid that if they have a train system, black people will come from the city out into their area. Seriously. No lie. Multiple residents told me that. The only good thing about the city was that it was hot.

Milan

Milan is another useless city. It’s also dirty, grimy, lacks anything but shops, and has some of the rudest Italians this side of Naples. Even most Milanese don’t like it! They are just there for work. The only reason to go to Milan is to shop, otherwise you are just wasting your time.

Birmingham

As you know, I had a lot of good experiences in England. It’s such a great country. But if I could skip one place, it would be Birmingham. Outside the shopping mall in the city center, it looks like this place hasn’t been renovated since 1960. I also felt unsafe walking the streets here. The city just gave me a very creepy vibe.

Pattaya

Located on Thailand’s Gulf Coast, this city is famous worldwide for prostitutes. Fat old men from around the world come here in search of someone who will tell them they are beautiful, even if it’s only because they have money. Pattaya is like Bangkok on the sea, and pollution from the city has ruined the harbor. Now, you need to take a boat out to an overcrowded island in order to find a place worth swimming. The city is popular with local Thais who come for the theme park, and Pattaya has tried to clean up its image over the last few years. But until they clean up that harbor and the fat old men, I’m fine with never going again.

Brisbane

OK, I don’t hate this city like I do the others. It’s more a general ambivalence towards it. There’s nothing really wrong with Brisbane (I mean, Southbank is nice), but I found the city reminded me too much of America. It also really lacked any culture or anything interesting besides the shops. I’d go back to Brisbane in the future, but did I love the city? Not really.

Not all Saturday cities are glitter and gold, and, every so often, I’ll rant about one or two I don’t like. However, the explorer in me tries to find the best in all places.